My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
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you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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