Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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