When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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