so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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