Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
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After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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