He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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