THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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