you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize