The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
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her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
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He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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