you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
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I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
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It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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