so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
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If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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