call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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