Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Get your hand out of your ass!

(734): View more from Michigan

how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?

(650): View more from California

In your belly button

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(650): Get your hand out of your ass! (734): how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..? (650): In your belly button http://tfl.nu/hvbh

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture

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(484): Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture http://tfl.nu/aclr

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.

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(484): bad idea #53- masterbating while on period. http://tfl.nu/6cye

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(512): View more from Texas

Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.

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(512): Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer. http://tfl.nu/t35w

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

did you fuck him yet?

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?

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(902): did you fuck him yet? (1-902): hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun? http://tfl.nu/r4bc

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(218): View more from Minnesota

No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk

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(218): No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk http://tfl.nu/i2q3

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.

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(715): My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it. http://tfl.nu/q7ku

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".

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(508): He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely". http://tfl.nu/dfux

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(707): View more from California

I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.

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(707): I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it. http://tfl.nu/727e

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka

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(919): I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka http://tfl.nu/i4zm

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(404): View more from Georgia

This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand

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(404): This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand http://tfl.nu/fsqo

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS

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(724): Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS http://tfl.nu/ftff

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(785): View more from Kansas

This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night

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(785): This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night http://tfl.nu/pu91

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(425): View more from Washington

I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.

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(425): I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone. http://tfl.nu/vl0d

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(804): View more from Virginia

Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?

(1-804): View more from Virginia

Do you have any forwarding contact info?

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(804): Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface? (1-804): Do you have any forwarding contact info? http://tfl.nu/ibaz

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