I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize