Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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