My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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