You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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