Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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