you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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