her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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