I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
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I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
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I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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