I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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