just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
please don't ironically join a cult
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