I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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