this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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