i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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