Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize