okay pat passed out under dana's car
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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