never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize