you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I have post one night stand depression
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