You're my little dorito
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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