I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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