That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize