Banned from zoo.
Again?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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