just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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