If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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