Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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