Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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