I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize