Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.

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(954): I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else. http://tfl.nu/idx6

Replies (14) Good night (2306) Bad night (1163) Order T-Shirt
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot

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(570): six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot http://tfl.nu/fwe0

Replies (9) Good night (3781) Bad night (581) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.

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(248): I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice. http://tfl.nu/zl11

Replies (22) Good night (851) Bad night (6481) Order T-Shirt
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(310): View more from California

dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore

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(310): dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore http://tfl.nu/vh83

Replies (25) Good night (1405) Bad night (6802) Order T-Shirt
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(416): View more from Toronto

Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.

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(416): Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer. http://tfl.nu/oqpc

Replies (6) Good night (1929) Bad night (1146) Order T-Shirt
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..

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(401): He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity.. http://tfl.nu/e3ua

Replies (16) Good night (2098) Bad night (4685) Order T-Shirt
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.

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(843): Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week. http://tfl.nu/axd2

Replies (15) Good night (3953) Bad night (1234) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.

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(724): He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever. http://tfl.nu/8ol6

Replies (6) Good night (3280) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.

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(484): No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone. http://tfl.nu/updb

Replies (6) Good night (2474) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.

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(402): Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex. http://tfl.nu/hnii

Replies (4) Good night (3389) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."

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(918): When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being." http://tfl.nu/i99y

Replies (7) Good night (586) Bad night (989)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.

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(252): Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation. http://tfl.nu/waj0

Replies (5) Good night (713) Bad night (456)
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(925): View more from California

michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.

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(925): michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him. http://tfl.nu/5r7o

Replies (2) Good night (880) Bad night (333)
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(330): View more from Ohio

WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"

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(330): WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader" http://tfl.nu/kbtf

Replies (0) Good night (434) Bad night (242) Order T-Shirt
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(860): View more from Connecticut

he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.

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(860): he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE. http://tfl.nu/wid5

Replies (5) Good night (752) Bad night (150) Order T-Shirt

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