Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just forgot I was standing up.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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