You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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