You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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