I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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