I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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