i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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