i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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