He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
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Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
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Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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