she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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