Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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